The end of the world is a popular topic today, as the Mayan Calendar predicted we’d all die. But to the Irish, there are a number of things that could bring about the end of the world, and The Daily Shift’s Aoife Bennett has picked out the top four…
It’s the end of the world!
The end of the world,due to have happened at midnight and then around ten past eleven, has been scheduled for today, December 21. As we all prepared ourselves for whatever would await us as the planet imploded, the Irish Twitter population gave us some of their views on how to know the end is nigh:
>No tea bags left
It’s a situation we’ve all found ourselves in. An overwhelming thirst, but a slight chill in our bodies at the same time so you know water won’t do the trick. There’s only one cure: Lyons (or Barrys. Whichever’s more your cup of tea) You open the box/container and recoil in horror as an empty abyss greets you. May as well book a seat on the spaceship out of here.
A connected and equally horrific situation is when there are several tea bags, but no milk. If there’s no milk, you can’t have tea or a bowl of Coco Pops.
>Penneys closes down
Screams of anguish can be heard across the country as what seems like the only place in Ireland to get three really nice cardigans for under twenty Euro locks the door for the final time. The women of Ireland roam the streets naked… Actually, I’m fairly sure the men wouldn’t see this as the end of the world. Dirty fe…
>Leaving the immersion on
Des Bishop’s routine from years ago left us in stitches, then with a silent moment of reflection as we examined the consequences of forgetting to flick the switch. “Jesus, imagine the ESB bill!” A nationwide endemic of amnesia results in everyone forgetting to turn off the immersion before heading out to go Christmas shopping, bringing on a tidal wave of boiling hot water which scalds the world. At least we’d go out clean.
>Actually having just the one pint
By reputation (and stereotype) the Irish are fond of a bit of alcohol every now and then. A night in the local where we promise ourselves ‘just the one’ usually means we’ll have to be carried out of the pub and put into bed by our drinking companions. The night Johnny, the establishment’s most loyal and famed customer, picks up his tweed cap and makes his exit after the final slug from his first glass fills everyone with such shock that they suffer simultaneous heart attacks.
So there we go lads. Keep an eye out for these signs, and be sure to warn your friends.
